Smite Me
by tellmeliesxx
Summary: smiting monsters and inhibitions. conversations by the campfire arthur/merlin/gwaine


odd tedbid of dialogue, sort of unedited for now. wanted to write some arthur/merlin/gwaine. implied smut :)

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

M: 'Uh... Arthur?'

A: 'Yes, Merlin?'

M: 'Well...you see...'

A: 'Out with it, Merlin.'

M: '_Gwaine has something he'd like to tell you-!_'

A: 'And that is...?'

G: 'I'm horny.'

A: 'That's...lovely. Suddenly this stew isn't looking so delicious. But I just can't pin what to attribute my loss of hunger to.'

M: 'Uh...yes, Gwaine. That was...inappropriate. What he _meant_ to say was...in that he was _eluding_ to the fact that...'

G: 'I know you two are fucking.'

M: 'Uh...'

A: '_Marvelous_, Merlin. Glad to see you have _no_ problem keeping sensitive information _secret_. Just so reliable.'

M: '_No!_ It wasn't like that! You see, Sire, Gwaine caught me leaving your quarters late the other night and-'

G: 'It was obvious what was happening, our boy Merlin here, sneaking out of the crown prince's chambers, smelling of sex, blushing like a milk maid-'

A: 'He does do that a lot, actually,'

G: '-And I want in.'

A: 'Ah, Gwaine, you see... Merlin and I...we haven't done that sort of thing for a while now. I mean, I've been somewhat _busy_, what with _running a country_, and everything. I can assure you that sex is the furthest thing from my mind at this time...'

G: 'So I cannot change your final decision any, even by doing _this_?'

M: 'What are you doing? What is he doing - Gwaine? Gwaine - oh - he's taking off his shirt - oh boy - now the pants are gone.'

A: '...'

G: 'Or _this_?'

A: 'His hand is down my pants. _Merlin! What is the meaning of this?_'

M: 'Well, Sire, I'm afraid Gwaine is acting completely of his own acord and without participation from me. So, I think, if you'll excuse me, I'll be going-'

A and G: '_Where do you think you're going?_'

M: '_Oooh_-kay. Allrighty, I'll just sit back down. Try not get into anyone's way.'

G: 'When I mentioned to you that I wanted a piece of the action, Merlin - I meant both the prince _and_ you.'

M: 'Oh...'

A: 'You brought this whole thing up, Merlin! Don't you _dare_ think you're off the hook for a even a _second_, setting Gwaine on me!'

M: 'Ah...'

G: 'Arthur, quiet. Merlin, get naked.'

M: 'How refreshing, another prat to boss me around-'

A: 'God help me Merlin, I will come over there and _make_ you show some respect, you useless, secret-spilling - uhh...'

M: 'Huh. Well that's _one_ way to silence the clodpole.'

G: 'His royal highness hasn't seen anything yet,'

A: '...Oh gods,'

M: 'He's learning quick. You're a good teacher, Gwaine.'

G: 'Hmmanck you...'

M: 'What? It's really hard to understand you when you've got your mouth around his-'

A: 'Cockshitballs-!'

G: 'You know, I have an incling our dear boy Arthur here, won't last very long-'

A: 'Piss off! ..._uh_'

G: '-So maybe you should get naked. Now.'

M: 'Okay, _okay_! Just give me a moment,'

A: '...I have some reservations about...uh! Oh gods-'

G: 'He really is a quick study at recognising authoritive figures and knowing when he's beat.'

M: 'Uh-! Well, even royal prats can - _uh!_ - learn new tricks...'

A: 'Would you two stop with the - _uh!_ - conversing like I'm not here? I'm the _freaking crown prince_ _of Camelot_ - no one - _uh!_ - undermines my authority-!'

G: 'Hmm, still got a bit to -_ uh!_ - learn, ey, Merlin?'

M: 'Good thing we've got the rest of the night to really - _uh!_ - drill it in to him!'

Later...

G: 'Oh-god-uh-_feelssofuckinggood_...'

M: 'Mmmm... Ah-_ahhh_...'

A: 'Oh-oh-oh-_ohhhhhh_...'

...

M: 'That was a...great idea, Gwaine...'

G: 'Haha, m'boy, don't I know it. Arthur? Finally caught your breath?'

A: 'You two...should be_ locked up_...for conspiring against your prince...'

M: 'Oh, we were definitely _against_ you, Sire.'

G: 'I'm pretty sure he was with us there at the end, though.'

M: 'Got the job done for Mr Horny, at least,'

G: 'Like you didn't enjoy yourself either, you wanton chamber maid!'

A: '_That's it!_ When we get back to Camelot, it's the dungeons for both of you.'

M: 'Empty threats...'

G: 'Don't pretend, Arthur, m'boy.'

A: '...I suppose...how soon would we be able to maybe...try that again?'

G: 'The dungeons, Arthur? You really think you'd last that long without us now? Tell you what, tomorrow when we've hunted down the big bad monster, maybe some post-smiting-lovin'll be just what we need. What d'you lad's say?'

M: 'Need you have to ask, Gwaine? Aside from Arthur, still wallowing in denial, I'd say it's pretty much a given.'

G: 'Grand!'

A: 'You two are insufferable.'

M: 'I can't wait, either, Sire!'


End file.
